One of the most interesting aspects of the Japanese paradox—i.e. the de facto dichotomy between “Japanese people” and “everyone else”—is that it’s virtually impossible to pick up on it when you first set foot in the country. Japanese culture is as much centralized around service as it is on its geographic isolation from the rest of the world, which is why a lot of tourists come away from the country with glowing praises of how nice everyone was to them and about the unprecedented hospitality they received. Not to mention that like any other average citizen of any country, Japanese people want to give off a positive impression to the world.

Now, the tourists that visit Japan for the first time are indeed going to so see a lot the same things my Japanese friend saw afresh coming back from Canada—the homogeneity of appearance, the flashy cell phones, the swarming crowds, the exhausted faces. What they aren’t going to see are the real Japanese people behind the daily charade of politeness and simple smiles. I’ll be the first to admit that I bought into it the first time coming here as an exchange student a couple of years ago; when I returned to the States a few months later, I thought that Americans in comparison were clearly the rudest, most insensitive people on God’s green earth.

It’s amazing how things change, however, when your status in a foreign country switches from exchange “student/tourist” to “long-term resident”. What you find out when you spend enough time in any country is a simple, unchanging truth: people are people, and the Japanese are no exception. I don’t mean to criticize, but the Japanese are not nearly as warm as they would make out to be at face value.

If anything, Japan is the one I country I know of where it is possible to tell someone to “f— off” completely in formal, polite dialogue. The genius aspect of such a phenomenon is that because the message was conveyed through the use of polite language, it is impossible for the receiver of such words to legitimately get angry because the person who said it “technically” wasn’t being rude. That is why there really aren’t any particularly juicy swear words in Japanese like there are in other languages like English; offense in Japanese is always conveyed subtly. In other words, just because someone is really polite to you here doesn’t mean that that person actually likes you at all. It’s “how” they are polite to you that really matters.

One of the largest advantages of learning another language is that it gives you a great deal of insight into a culture that you wouldn’t necessarily get from a textbook or a periodical. In other words you know you’re making headway with a language when you realize that you are beginning to understand how and why native speakers of the language act in certain ways.

Take for example the subtlety of communication within the Japanese context. People never say what they mean and part of learning Japanese is accustoming yourself to reading between the lines. When you ask a Japanese person to do something together—let’s say go out for some coffee on Wednesday night, you’ll rarely receive a flat-out “no”. What you will get oftentimes—if the response is meant to be negative—is a hesitant answer, following somewhere along the lines of “well…I’m not exactly able to…”, or “I do have such-and-such to do on that day but…”. If you interpret such phrases literally, technically they are not sending across the clear message that “no, I can’t hang out with you that night”. However, when you interpret it under the context of subtlety in Japanese culture, it does come across clearly as a “no”.

Another example is when I ask Japanese people I know if they like karaoke (most of them don’t…their loss). If it turns out that they do, they’re very clear in their response and generally enthusiastically so. However, if they don’t—and especially if they already know that I do love karaoke—they will often make their answers really ambiguous. Oftentimes they make it look like just simply saying “no, I don’t like karaoke” is the most painful thing they could possibly do. But the whole point here is that once you understand the principle of “maybe” almost always meaning “no” in Japanese, you’ve also begun to understand the polite, passive aggressive, and “never-say-what-you-mean” aspects of Japanese culture.

The big reason I can’t take the easy route and call the “foreign treatment” in Japan simply racism (although racism certainly is involved) is because Japan is a small, and historically isolated country. Everyone looks so similar because there has always been limited contact with the mainland. So, however good or bad as one may argue it to be, isolation is and has always been a very significant part of Japanese culture. When you take a brief look at the relationship between the geography and the culture, it makes sense in an odd sort of way how the social dichotomy actually does “function”, or at least that it comes from something that makes sense. I’m not saying I condone it, but understanding the big picture is always the first step to knowing how to appropriately address an issue.

I visited my own “home” for the first time in two years for Christmas just last year. The travel agency didn’t give me enough time to properly transfer planes at Detroit and I ended up in Boston before my bags did. It took an extra two hours for the next flight to come in with my things, and that was just after about 15 hours spent on an airborne, compressed tin can surrounded by a random mixture of Westerners and Southeast Asians. One can imagine the kind of exhaustion I was feeling by the time I boarded the blue line at the airport station. What actively jolted me nonetheless though was the vibrancy of the atmosphere on board. Nothing could be quite more the opposite of my friend’s train ride back (i.e. silence, everyone looks the same, passed out business men, cell phones galore. etc., etc.). For starters, I don’t remember how many nationalities, much less what sort of unique cultural mixtures were represented by the individuals on my train car alone. Then there was the visible reality of class stratification; white collar business travelers fresh off the plane alongside working class Hispanics from East Boston (where the airport is located). Most people were talking to each other in animated voices. A girl in her early twenties was singing a couple of stanzas of Radiohead half jokingly with her friends. Nobody took notice of the wide spectrum of backgrounds represented in that single subway car. There was no consciousness of the three or four languages blending into each other in the background. I could perhaps count a couple of pulled out cell phones, tops. Alas, this was the home I left behind.

I can equally envision how a Japanese person could either feel completely liberated or completely horrified by such an unpredictable, unfamiliar atmosphere of diversity. The diversity is really the half of it. In Japan, there’s only one kind of Japanese person, culturally speaking. In other words, everyone over here fits into one of two general categories: Japanese, and outsiders. I call the latter “outsiders” because that’s what they are. It doesn’t matter if they’re married to a Japanese person, hold a job here, or even have Japanese citizenship. If the shape of the face and the mannerisms (alongside lifelong citizenship) don’t both match the criteria, the person doesn’t “count” as a real member of society. No kidding. It’s a simple dichotomy, and there never have been enough assimilated foreigners in Japan to challenge the status quo of Japanese identity being based on anything other than physicality and one’s reflection of cultural “upbringing”.

Tomorrow: “Part 2: The Reality of the Japanese Social Dichotomy—So, Is It Really Racism?”

Not too long ago, a Japanese friend of mine summed up his recent return to Japan after a year in Toronto with a brief summary of the ride home from Narita: a quiet train car crammed to the brim with tired Japanese faces, cell phones, and adult comics. His biggest reactions not only focused on the homogeneity of the crowd or the fact that everyone was so infatuated with having their cell phones out all the time even while next to their friends, but that most of them—particularly the business men—looked exhausted to the point of passing out. It was at this point I remarked sarcastically that “yeah, most salary men in this country look like they want to die”, but the look my friend then gave me seemed indicative of something more to lament over rather than to laugh about. Well, I was laughing anyway.

From the standpoint of an outsider partially assimilated into Japanese society, I found my own reactions to my friend’s feelings about coming back “home” to be quite…odd. It was as though he in some ways had become more North American than I was. Granted, I’ve been living somewhere in Asia for the past two consecutive years. During that time frame I’ve been to Japan six times to date, the longest stay being about 11 months. Since my recent return back, I regularly frequent Tokyo but I hardly think about being the very visible foreigner within a sea of tired Japanese faces. I don’t think so much about the inverted nature of people in this country as they live their lives so closely to each other and yet rarely dare to acknowledge the presence of anyone they do not know—Japanese or otherwise—beyond a brief apology as they push through the crowd, on their way to whatever place they’re in such a hurry to get to.

Over the next few days I’ll be attempting to cover some points of daily existence over in this country that I get the feeling most expats alike—including myself—simply tend to gloss over after being here for so long. As for the Japanese, unless they’ve spent significant time overseas, telling them such things about their own society is often akin to trying to tell a fish that it’s a surrounded by water. Overall, I feel it’s nonetheless important to be aware of such things, because to do the opposite would equal complacency. And well, I don’t know about any of you, but I would never have gotten as far as I have in this or any other country I’ve been in with that kind of attitude. In other words, complacency is the word that describes 40 year old expats who complain about still teaching at NOVA after 10 years, even though they never tried to do anything about it. Well, anyway…

And with that, tomorrow’s topic: “Part 1: The Reality of the Japanese Social Dichotomy” (or, “The Difference between a Japanese Person and Everyone Else”)

If you’re working in Japan, you’ll be very familiar with the term Bento Lunch. Bento is very popular with students and adults a like in Japan. For some people, taking a bento lunch box is an everyday thing. Bento used to be a students or low working class people’s way of eating lunch. But now, bento has redefined itself - you can now order bento boxes from restaurants to enjoy a home cook lunch.

A traditional bento consists of rice, fish or meat, and one or more pickled or cooked vegetables as a side dish. Containers range from disposable mass produced to hand crafted lacquerware. While bento are readily available at convenience stores and bento shops (弁当屋, bentō-ya) throughout Japan, it is still considered an essential skill of a Japanese housewife to be able to prepare an appealing boxed lunch.

The origin of bento can be traced back to the late Kamakura Period (1185 to 1333), when cooked and dried rice called hoshi-ii (糒 or 干し飯, literally “dried meal”) was developed. Hoshi-ii can be eaten as is, or can be boiled with water to make cooked rice, and is stored in a small bag. In the Azuchi-Momoyama Period (1568 to 1600), wooden lacquered boxes like today’s were produced and bento would be eaten during a hanami or a tea party.

A bento is traditionally made in a 4:3:2:1 ratio: 4 parts of rice, 3 parts of the side dish (either meat or fish), 2 parts of vegetables, and 1 part of a serving of pickled vegetables or a dessert. However, almost anything can be used to make a bento.

Several precautions should be taken when making a bento. The most important thing is to avoid food poisoning, especially in summer. Foods should be cooked well and the bento must be stored in a cool, dry location. If sushi is a part of the bento, it should be prepared with more wasabi than normal. Foods covered with sauce should be carefully packed, or avoided altogether, as sauce may spill over on to the other foods. When cooked rice is a part of a bento, it should be cooled by leaving the bento open first. If a bento is closed before it is sufficiently cooled, the steam from the rice will condense inside the bento and make the food soggy.

I think I’ll be posting some recipes for a perfect bento meal that won’t cause any food poisoning in Food..:)

Bento is an everyday thing in the Japanese culture. I really love the lacquered box that the food comes in.

Source: Wikipedia

Here’s a list of Japanese Holidays from the months of January to December. I know, I know we’ve missed January and February but there are still 10 months ahead so this is not too late still :)
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1 January
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# 1: New Year’s Day (Gantan) - The most important national holiday in Japan.
# 2nd Monday: Coming of Age Day (Seijin-no-hi) - People who are 20 years old celebrate becoming adults.

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2 February
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# 3: Setsubun (The Bean Throwing Festival) - A Japanese tradition of chasing away evil spirits.
# 11: National Foundation Day (Kenkoku Kinenbi)
# 14: Valentine’s Day - It’s typical for Japanese women to give chocolates to men on this day. *Chocolate and Japanese Valentine’s Day

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3 March
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(*Japanese School Year ends in March.)
# 3: Japanese Girl’s Day (Hina Matsuri)
# 14: White Day - Japanese men give candies to women.
# 20 or 21: Spring Equinox Day (Shunbun-no-hi)
# Cherry Blossom season in Japan.

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4 April
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(*Japanese School Year begins in April.)
# 29: Greenery Day (Midori-no-hi) - This day is the former Emperor Showa’s birthday.*Beginning of Golden Week*

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5 May
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# 3: Constitution Memorial Day (Kenpo Kinenbi)
# 4: Citizen’s Holiday (Kokumin-no-kyujitsu)
# 5: Children’s Day (Kodomono-hi) - Japanese Boy’s festival.

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6 June
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# No National Holidays in June.
# Rainy season in Japan.
# Japanese wedding season.

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7 July
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# 7: Star Festival (Tanabata)
# 3 Monday: Ocean Day (Umi-no-hi)

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8 August
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# 13-16: Bon Festival - An important Japanese tradition to honor ancestors. Most Japanese people take summer vacation during this time.

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9 September
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# 3rd Monday: Respect for the Aged Day (Keirou-no-hi)
# 23: Autumn Equinox Day (Shubun-no-hi)

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10 October
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# 2nd Monday: Sports Day (Taiiku-no-hi)
# Fall Foliage Season
# Halloween in Japan

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11 November
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# 3rd: Culture Day (Bunka-no-hi)
# 15: Shichi-go-san - Around this day, people wish for the healthy growth of 7 (shichi) year-old girls, 5 (go) year-old boys, and 3 (san) year-old girls at shrines. About Japanese Autumn Holidays
# 23: Labor Thanksgiving Day (Kinro-kansha-no-hi)

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12 December
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# 23: The Emperor’s Birthday (Tennou-tanjoubi)- The current Heisei emperor’s birthday.
# 25: Christmas
*See Christmas in Japan and Christmas in Tokyo.
# 31: New Year’s Eve (Oomisoka)

The list is courtesy of Go-Japan from About.com.

The Japanese greet each other by bowing. It’s a very interesting social action that can be categorized by the way you bow and how low you bow. It can range from a small nod of the head (it means you’re not very important) to a low 90degree bow (it means you’re very important). The way you bow also shows the social status of you and the person you’re bowing to.

If the person in front of you is older and/or have a higher status than you, you’re suppose to bow deeply and longer than s/he does. But the Japanese do not keep this rule to foreigners so usually they just do a bried nod of the head. That’s just to show how important foreigners are :P Just kidding!

The japanese do not usually shake hands althought sometimes they do greet foreigners with a hand shake. Well, ponder over this for a moment, ladies and gents, it’s a very peculiar thing. Most Japanese people (except old people) know the the customs of foreigners but most foreigners don’t know the customs of their asian counterparts unless they’ve studied the subject or have been with a Japanese person (a friend/gf/bf). This is a perfect example of westernization. I wonder if there will ever be an asianization :P

Anyway back to bowing, i found a very cutesy video of a bunch of japanese kids bowing. It’s an ad for Kleenex tissues. You’ll see the bow at the end :)

Source: Japan guide

If you look around Japan, you’ll probably find a few psychedelic colored shops around with a big board in front that says “100 Yen Shop“, with the words Yen in Japanese character. 100 Yen Shops are a big thing in Japan because the goods sold there are all 105 yen (100 yen for the stuff and 5 yen for consumption tax) and at that price, it’s a very very good deal indeed; especially for travellers who are on a budget.

The biggest 100 yen shop is Daiso Giga Machida, which spans five floors and its near the Michida Station (30 minutes, 360 Yen from Shinjuku by Odakyu Railways). Currently, the market leader for 100 yen stores is Daiso and they have over 2000 shops around Japan.

You can buy just about anything except fresh food in these 100 yen shops. Stuff like bowls, cups, chopsticks, spoons, forks, mugs, tools, gardenware, stationaries, socks, slippers, markers, swimming googles, pingpong rackets and balls, etc….yea you get the picture. I am definitely a supporter of 100 yen shop because things like cups are in abundance there. It makes a lot more sense to pay USD1 (which is about the equivalent to 100yen anyway) for one cup than to pay USD3-10 for one cup isn’t it? A cup is a cup, just as a spoon is a spoon.

Well, if you’ve just moved to Japan, i’d suggest you buy your nitty gritty but necessary stuff from the 100 yen store. Don’t buy your pots and pans there though…they’re about as hardy as plastics on fire.

Source: Japan Guide

Previously I wrote about Japanese Table Manners in hopes that it’ll help some of you, expatriates, out there. Now I’m going to round it off with the daily etiquettes that you should know. I think with this, you will be more than safe from the hazards of looking like an uncultured buffoon in another culture. Well it’s just nice to know, that’s all, and no you won’t look like a buffoon the first time around if you didn’t know any better but it’s better if you know :D

Okay.

Japanese Etiquette:

In a Japanese house
Upon entering a house, you should always take off your shoes at the doorway and slide into the slippers provided by your host. To which, you will wear those slippers to walk around the house except in tatami rooms, which in this case are mostly dining areas, living rooms, guest rooms, etc etc, you will need to take your slippers off and walk barefoot or with only your socks. And if you need to go to the toilet, take your slippers off and change into a special toilet slippers that is provided.

Sitting Techniques
Many westerners are not used to sitting on the floor; so I can imagine your shock when you are to have your meals close to the floor. Anyway, there is a universal sitting position for both men and woman, which is the formal way called the Seiza. See the picture below:

The casual sitting position for men is usually crosslegged and for women, with both legs on the side. Look at the pictures below:

Seating order
The most important guest sits on the honored seat (kamiza) which is located farthest from the entrance. If there is a tokonoma, or a decorated alcove, in the room, the guest should be seated in front of it. The host or least important person is supposed to sit next to the entrance (shimoza). Of course, there are more factors to be considered in every specific case.

Toilets
There are two types of toilet in Japan; the Japanese style and the Western Style. Public washrooms are usually equipped with Japanese style toilets; which is basically a hole in the ground. Look at the picture below:-

But worry not, more and more western style toilets are popping up in touristic areas. However, since toilet paper may not be provided, it’sadvisable to carry a pack of tissue yourself. In cases of emergencies, a tissue pack can save lives…*nods* I am speaking from experience.

So how do you use the Japanese toilet?
1) Face the hood of the toilet.
2) Pull down your trousers completely below your knees.
3) Squat down as closely to the hood as possible. In case of elevated toilets (see picture), you need to stand on the raised platform while squatting.

Using bathrooms

Japanese toilets and bathrooms are almost always separated. And the bathroom, aside from cleaning yourself is also used to relax yourself. The typical Japanese bathrooms usually consist of an entrance room where you take your off your clothes and the actual bathroom where the showerhead and bathtub is.

When bathing Japanese style, you should rinse your body outside of the bathtub first with water from the bath using a washbowl. Afterwards, you enter the bathtub, which is used for soaking only. THe water tend to be hotter than what you usually might be accustom to, so what you do is just try to not move so much while you’re soaking. the more you move the hotter it seems you see…some scientific thing about exposure to a larger surface area. Anyway, you won’t be scalded, that’s for sure. After you have soaked yourself in for a while, leave the tub and soap your body. Make sure no soap gets into the bathtub. Rinse yourself clean with the shower head and soak yourself in the tub again. Once you’re done, do not drain the water as other members will be using the bath water.

Yes, I cannot fathom using the same bath water like that too. I’ll take a shower any day.

Related Links:

Japanese Table Manners
Practice your Japanese Etiquette
Coming to Japan
Superstitions

Source: Japan-Guide